Patanjali's yoga sutras

अनुभूतविषयासंप्रमोषः स्मृति
anu-bhūta-viṣaya-asaṁpramoṣaḥ smr̥tiḥ

anubhūta अनुभूत = experienced
viṣaya विषया = thing; object of the senses
asaṁpramoṣaḥ असंप्रमोष = not forgotten
smr̥tiḥ स्मृति = memory

Memories are things you’ve experienced but haven’t forgotten.

That’s a very matter-of-fact statement. There’s no judgment in it.

And yet, we all know how awful it feels to be caught up in the mental vortex of bad memories.

No amount of grief, regret, guilt, shame, anger, resentment, or bitterness can change the past, and no amount of longing or nostalgia will bring it back, but if you’re like most people, you spend a lot of time in the woulda-coulda-shouldas, ruminating on everything you’ve done and that’s been done to you.

Bad memories negatively shape the way you think about yourself and the way you relate to other people. Very logically, it’s negative past experiences that make it so hard to see yourself and others through the eyes of Cosmic Consciousness, with compassion, loving kindness, delight, and equanimity. You’ve formed opinions based on your past experiences and you think you know what people are “really” like.

It’s a huge challenge to stay open, constantly clearing out judgments to make sure your awareness doesn’t get cluttered with accumulated memories. You might feel this openness in the laughter of a baby or see it in an attractive person you’ve just met, but it’s only a matter of time before they do something that limits your expectations.

If you want to feel a Oneness that includes other people, you must meet them in a space where anything is possible.

I’m not saying you have to do this right away with people who have hurt you. You cann’t let go of memories of hurt until you feel safe and that usually requires quite a bit of time and distance.

What if you can’t feel safe until certain people are permanently and completely out of your life? Does that mean you can’t experience Oneness? No. It’s perfectly okay to start this practice small, with a few people you have safe relationships with. Even there, with the people you love and trust the most, it’s a challenge to keep that field of limitless possibilities open. You have to see them with a fresh pair of eyes every time you look, always forgiving and forgetting the little things that create feelings of separation to stay open to Oneness.

The feeling of Oneness comes most easily in meditation. In the last sutra, you learned about the magic of meditating at the transitions between waking and sleeping. It’s in those transitions that the field of limitless possibilities opens up. It’s much harder to get into that space once you’ve started your day and if you’ve fallen asleep you’ve already missed it. It will vanish in an instant if you don’t consciously work to keep it open.

Throughout your day, whenever you can, let go of the things that distract you from Oneness—and remember the things that remind you of it. Whenever you have a thought or something happens to you that strengthens your faith in Oneness, write it down and tell the stories of those times in your life. Smr̥tiḥ, the word Patanjali used for “memory,” is also the word for “mindfulness” and likewise can refer to the capacity to remember, as in having a good memory.

How often in your daily life can you remind yourself of Oneness? Mantras are useful for this. My favorite is Ram Dass’s mantra “I am Loving Awareness.” Does using a mantra like this make your interactions with other people more positive? Does it improve your feelings about yourself? Does it help you separate your identity from your ego with all of its opinions about itself and others?